I am a red head, and no matter how much I’ve tried to fight it, it has influenced a large part of my personal identity. I’m glad that I have red hair because it has given me a unique feature that I have not had to put forth any personal effort to achieve. I never had to practice for hours to be great at the tremolo harmonica or stretch daily so I could put my foot behind my head. I am a red head (see “special skills” in my résumé).
While I like to convince myself that I was chosen by Zeus himself to carry this burden, there is in fact science behind it. Red hair is caused by the mutation of the MC1R gene, a mutation that affects less than 2% of the world’s population. Thus, the following information is #NotRelatable to the other 98% of the world. However, if you are interested in learning about my daily struggled, here are 5 downsides to being a natural red head:
- Sunburns: There is no amount of sunscreen in the world to protect us from the sun’s vengeful rays. Apply 100 SPF every 15 minutes, or you end up looking like a well done lobster. The word “tan” isn’t in our vocabulary
- If you’re like me, you actively try to avoid acquaintances in any public situation. However, when your hair looks like a damn fire, it is difficult to go incognito unless your disguise includes a wig.
- Accustom to Ginger Jokes: THANKS SOUTH PARK
- Freckles: Whether you love them or hate them, freckles are out there. If you’re a red head, you probably have them. While I’ve grown to love mine, they have often been mistaken for ticks, dirt, cancerous moles, and my personal favorite- zits.
- We’re going extinct: All good things must come to an end, but hopefully our demise is less painful than the dinosaurs.